I’m not religious or anything, but the title seems fitting for the first blog post. I don’t have a lot to talk about right now, but that will probably change in the future.
I am acutely aware of the fact that it may not change in the future.
I just need to not worry about what I’m writing about. I almost obsess over the little mistakes that I make over the course of a writing session. I would like it if I could just let the characters flow out from my fingers to the keyboard without a care. Even now I am trying, but I can’t help but look at the screen every time I make a mistake. I also tend to correct my own thoughts often. Like for example, if I’m missing an important adjective on my first passthrough, I would have to fix it immediately before continuing on to my next string of thoughts. Is the adjective really that important? Should I go back and delete “important” from that sentence? I will choose not to since I’ve written it and the meta analysis down already. An interesting predicament indeed.
What would I like to talk about on my own blog? I’d probably want to write reviews for video games, maybe document my own game development journey. I’d also like to write about my other ventures going forward. Whether that’s web development or something like a drink recipe that I would like to keep written down. Maybe some stories about my life or works of fiction that I’ve had stirring up in my head. I think it’d be cool to have a web comic or some sort of ARG hosted on this site too.
So many thoughts I want to have written down. Maybe writing them down will act as a sort of therapeutic session and a sort of time capsule for my thoughts. Yeah, that’s basically a journal, right? Except journals aren’t usually publicized out on the web. What kind of deep dark secrets do people hide within their journals? I can see how writing down stuff like that can be therapeutic though. Though, there probably shouldn’t be things that you should be writing down just due to societal pressures and your personal sense of morality. Yes, free speech is great, but not when it hurts other people.
As an American, it’s hard to fight that urge to spiral into political topics, especially in this current political climate. It’s funny, because I always touted about how apolitical I was before college. I never bothered to be informed about anything relating to that field. You know what they say, “Ignorance is bliss”, but I was never one to admit that I was ignorant. I’d say I’m pretty culturally stunted, but lately, I’ve been a lot better. It’s hard to say why, but before I graduated college, I didn’t really see a reason to immerse myself in culture. I’d be stuck in my little online bubble where I would play Team Fortress 2 all day. It’s hard to look back and understand why I did that instead of something more productive. It was probably because of the sense of community I had with the server I frequented on. That’s a pretty logical explanation, since I never really “belonged” to a group in the real world.
I don’t want to say I’m enlightened, but I am more accepting of what I am and what I have been. Maybe that’s because almost everything in my life is going somewhat well. At least comparatively to most other people. Maybe if I were under less fortunate circumstances, I’d be less stoic that I am right now. What even is enlightenment anyway (in the sense of spiritual and/or religious context)? It seems to me that it may be too vague and arbitrary to reach that level of mindfulness? (I’m not sure of the correct word). Now we’re getting into the realm of consciousness and the rabbit hole that is spirituality. Anyway, I am just content with who I am now, but I will not confidently say that I am not willing to change. Of course I would like to improve as a human being, but why? To appease others? Am I really “doing this for myself” if humans are instinctively programmed to compare themselves to others? Maybe this is a naive thought, but I can’t bring myself to disprove it.